There are two sins I struggle with the most: vanity and pride (how different are they, really?). Because I feel that wearing make-up encourages me to focus on my face, I don’t wear make-up. In the same vein, I try to avoid flashy, tight, or form-enhancing clothing. I guess one could call me a plain dresser. My sister would have a hard time believing that I struggle with vanity because I’ve never cared much about fashion, but vanity sometimes threatens to overwhelm me and completely distract me from God.
It is with vanity that I struggle today. My hair has grown past my shoulders. It is pretty, and I love the way it glows in the sunlight, as if lit from a fire within. I love the feeling of it against my neck. But my neck does not love my hair, for my neck, with the weight of my hair, is nearly constantly spasming now, which shoots the pain up to my jaw. I wish I were exaggerating, but for the past 2 weeks, my jaw has been hurting so much that even eating cereal hurts. It’s possible that the length of my hair is not the main cause of this, but it is, at the very least, a factor.
I need to cut my hair. I need to cut it short so that it weighs almost nothing. But I don’t want to. How unfit am I to serve the Lord if the thought of cutting my hair has me balking and trying to find excuses! (Have I mentioned how cold it is and how my hair helps keep me warm?)
How thankful I am that God has given me a pain in the neck as inspiration to better serve Him!